This was written stream of consciousness for my RP group’s message board. These are the current thoughts of my character as continue our encounter during Monday’s game. She is faced with a vampire lord. 2 friends have been struck down and she does not know if they are alive or dead. She is faced with a decision. Does she sacrifice herself and risk her soul being stolen?
Recently, I have felt like my thoughts were not my own. There is a demon in my mind who is trying to poison it. He tells me that these people are not my friends. He tells me that I do not need them. My mind has raced with outcomes and possibilities.
I have been in peril. We have been in peril and it seems like my circumstance has brought a lot of that peril to the group. When confronted with the many-headed creature, I fell in battle. I saw it coming at me and then everything went black. When I rose, I was not myself. When I rose I was something dark. I was something malevolent. I was a demon. I was my father.
But I overcame. I fought it back. I regained my will and I stopped myself from doing something evil. I stopped myself from mercilessly murdering Sabina. I am slowly learning what it is that has become of me, but I want to know more. I need to know more. In the chamber of the dwarf, I tried so hard to use this knowledge to protect us, but fell short.
I feel like a failure. I feel like this part of me that I have fought so hard to suppress has begun to bubble to the surface for the first time in 80 years. I feel like a monster.
When I awoke following the attack at the dwarf’s lair, I was in an unknown place that I have come to know as Nightingale Keep. It was almost destroyed by a fiend. This demon inhabited my body before I was able to stop it. Thankfully, Sorella banished the demon before I could kill Sabina… again. I can understand why Sabina would not be pleased with me.
I have come to grow to enjoy the company of these people. Sorella has just joined us and today when I learned of my mother and father, Sabina learned that she was her sister. I feel strangely close to those women. Our birth dates so perfectly aligned. Theirs on the day of the reckoning, mine just before.And now, they lay before me. I cannot tell if they are alive or dead, though I wish for the former. Tyrannus has come to destroy us. He wants to finish what was not accomplished at The Reckoning. He wants revenge and he hungers for blood. Davorn has been blinded by the light of Sorella’s shield. Sabhen is poised to attack and I stand here calling out for guidance. Paul said that my mother used her beautiful voice to give courage to aid her comrades. If only I could hear her song…